Sunday, December 30, 2012

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah...

Tahniah, my dear angah!

Allah has granted our wish and definitely your wish. you have to take this opportunity,this challenge actually, seriously and work harder to give back to the ummah insyaAllah.

 I always hope to see one of the docs that are doing the humanitarian works globally, especially in Palestin, is my family members. i do have that wish!

Dear, Allah grants us an opportunity for us to be closer to him. you will know the reason soon.

semoga awak mampu menjadi seseorang yang bukan sahaja merawat jasmani tetapi juga rohani, insyaAllah..amin.

All the best!

The way would not be as easy as we wish BUT it will definitely followed what Allah has planned to us.

May Allah bless us and gather us in the best place in Hereafter, amin..

love you, my angah!


p/s: Being an eldest sister to my lovely fellow sisters and brothers (i'm sorry for not being that 'great' sister to you guys *_*), I do always hope that my younger sisters and brothers would be better than me in whatever ways, whatever mean. whenever i do not get something that i wanted to have, i would pray to Allah to give that chances to my other siblings.

Friday, December 28, 2012

HEROES QUOTE #1


" EVERY PIOUS PERSON HAS HIS OWN PAST, 
AND EVERY SINNER PERSON HAS HIS FUTURE"

l.e.t.s. b.e. a. b.e.t.t.e.r. M.u.s.l.i.m!


Is this an entry?

salam & hai...

Do not know what to write but have many thing to share here...huhuhu ^_^

Again, lets have a list of things that i had done through out this year, in this semester, and definitely in this life.

one of the best moments in my life.. love the scenery so much..subhanallah..
 
Lets check it out!
  •  I would say, this was the busiest semester i ever had till now. I know i cannot BUT I do hope next semester, which is going to be after my industrial training, will be nice to me insyaAllah. pray guys pray! hahha
  • ohhh yaaaa.. i went to BIG BAD WOLF this year.. hooorayyy!! ^_^
  • hmmm...what's next? -___-
  • ahaaaa...! i went to stay with seha's family. it was awesome! mingle around with the kids, Jawarians, and others (even not really mingle...hehhe..i'm a shy girl..hhehe). tell you, the food was awesome! like it! guguugu.. i think i'm going to write about this thing soooon.. sooooooon ya (^_^)
  • what else??
  • exam?? don't want to talk about that.
  • one thing, i have to pack all my belongings and bring it home. the problem is, who's gonna help me to throw away some of my things? ahhh headache!
till then lah... ok bye..


is this an entry?
you call this an entry?

hahhahaha..whatever...


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

H

H for H.U.R.T.
I am hurt.

what is more hurt than hurt? 

hmm...

i do not know what to say.

and the room for saying a things seems like would not be open.
i guess.

hmm..

maybe i made a mistake, or many mistakes to be exact.

but...

hmmm..

what more to say

hmmm..

i am hurt.

forgive me for hurting you more than i am right now.

*____________*

Saturday, November 3, 2012

my first baby

alhamdulillah...

i'm going to talk about my first baby. =)

Historically, it was supposed to be a minor event for a yearly event. i was afraid to be a 'mom' for any baby yet because i wasn't know whether i can handle it well or not. i got bad fever the next day after being a 'mom to be' officially. really bad one. with all the supported from my close friends (jazakallahu khairan kathira guys), i set my mind to it! even tough it was not 100% yet.

Somehow, it turn out differently. Yup differently!
I perceived that 'baby' to be something that is so important as it involved corporate body.

Life must go on. i made my mind. i set the date & we meet. first meeting, it was only 5 people there. that was my starting point & i can say i was ready to give my best 100%.

Let me clarify here, 'baby' refer to the first program that i'm handling with all the great people Allah had send to me. 

Frankly speaking, i never dream myself being a 'mom' to a program. my confident level is not that high as what people perceive it to be. but my enthusiasm to not only try new things but give my best , definitely with Allah blessings, have make-up my mind. alhamdulillah.

The preparations were there with all the commitments from our team. most of us are the learners and beginners. but we have tried our best.

As the date was coming to the corner, here came my bad that i'm tried all this while to counter it. i'm easily losing control of my mind when i'm nervous about something. that is the major root cause of my stress and i know you know how stress people looks like isn't it. so figure it out by yourself. weeee =)

THE DAY HAS CAME!

for me personally, the flow of the program is quite smoothly. it would be perfect for me if we are not nervous during the time when corporate representatives were there.

i know definitely my protocol skills are bad. i have to admit this. running away from it would not solve it but i'm yet to think the solutions. huhu..

I want to thank all of the team members. We are complement to each other. Without one of us, we would not be able to make it as what we made today.  
Thanks guys for all your commitments. I'm really appreciate it and i pray to Allah to ease our remaining journeys 'here'.  
May Allah blessed you guys forever and ever. 
InsyaAllah , amin. 

alhamdulillah a'la kulli hal. alhamdulillah.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

dedikasi utk ANGAH ^_^

Siapa ANAK KE-2 dalam family? meh sini baca fakta ini!!

ANAK MANJA EMAK
sebab apa-apa pun mesti dia akan diutamakan oleh ibu. ^^

(for my angah case...definitely yes! 100%)

ANAK DEGIL
Anak kedua dikatakan lebih degil, keras kepala dan tidak mendengar kata. semua dia aje yg betul. dlm ramai-ramai adik beradik dia aje yg KETEGAQ. kemahuan dia kuat.kalau buat sesuatu sungguh-sungguh. kalau tak nak tu, tak nak lah jawabnya, boleh dipujuk tapi selalunya tak berapa jalan.
(yup, but not 100% la...bukan degil tp determind..kan angah? hehhee jgn lupa belanja)

TAK PANDAI PUJUK
memang anak no 2 ni dia tak pandai pujuk makwe or pakwe dia. (ciannn)
(i dont like 'pakwe makwe'.. but my angah definitely xde skill pujuk-memujuk nih. klau merajuk dgn dia, dia buat xtau je..angah akan ckp dgn muka x bersalah: "lantak p kat ang la nk merajuk ka apa ka")

BERCINTA
dia kalau bercinta, sangat setia.sanggup berkorban.
(X TAU..HER HUSBAND WILL ONLY KNOW IT, INSYAALLAH)

HITAM / PUTIH
Apa yg dikatakan semua dipegang. kalau hitam, hitam lah kalau putih, putih lah. degil tak boleh toleransi.
(yup, my angah is very determind...100% check!)

HATI
Anak no 2 ni juga nampak aje keras. tp hati dia lembut. SATU lagi pe'el dia. dia tak boleh ditegur.
(ye ke? selalunya my angah buat dekk ja.. dia keras hati bertempat)
BERDIKARI
Very independent. memang betul. tp kalau terlebih independent pun payah. mudah bergaul. very take care.
(100% check, she is an independent girl)

ARAHAN
Anak no 2 ni juga dia payah nk terima arahan. dia lebih suka buat hal sendiri pendek kata tak boleh kerja ngan orang.
(not sure...kadang-kadang ya, dia suka buat sendiri tanpa disuruh-suruh)
PEMAAF & CARING
tidak dinafikan anak no 2 ni pun pemaaf dan caring. TAPI awas jangan bagi diorang marah kalau diorang marah faham saje lah.
(pemaaf yes, caring?? dia selalu berlagak cool mcm xdak apa2...caring x tunjuk rasanya..huhu)

PAKAIAN
Nak semua up to date. semua nak kemas.
(mesti up to date, definitely tak...my angah will only wear what she want to and she confident wearing it, up to date or not is not the matter.. kalau kemas, yes definitely!)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

new step for you

i'm happy as long as you are happy and Allah bless you, dear.
so, please stay in a way that Allah permits and stay away from the way that deviate from Allah's command.

i'm glad as you choose me to be your advisor, 
to be the first person to meet him, a man that you choose to be with.

i'm afraid, i'm afraid seriously.
because i know this is the important and vital responsible for me.
as you are asking my view, my advise.

dear, even if i can't make it to meet him this time..
insyaAllah, i will pray to Allah to show me either he is the right man for you or not by other means..
i have no idea what the means will be, but Allah definitely know ^_^

currently (even i'm yet to meet him) my heart is at ease.. ^_^

 deeper in my heart i pray that you guys will guard yourselves as what Allah command  until you guys tie the knot later insyaAllah.

at the same time, i can feel the same feeling as what i felt when first time you went out from our 'home'
feeling and thinking of being alone make me sad
*_*

Friday, October 5, 2012

Tak selayaknya begitu!

Jumaat, 5 Okt 2012

Bas berhenti ambil penumpang..ada seorang budak lelaki lengkap berpakaian sekolah menggenggam erat tangan adik perempuannya memasuki bas. kedua-dua beradik itu kelihatan lebih kecil berbanding umur mereka..

Sepanjang berada dalam bas, mataku tidak lepas dari memandang tingkah-laku mereka. Si abang sangat bertanggung-jawab manakala si adik sangat mendengar kata nampaknya. Si abang menyimpan botol air di dalam beg nuri adiknya..

sangat sejuk memandang kedua-duanya sampai terkenang-kenangkan adik-adikku di rumah.adik-adikku selalu saling menyakat sesama sendiri..

Setelah tiba di satu kawasan berdekatan dengan masjid, si adik tadi pon turun dari bas. Barulah aq sedar yang si abang merupakan pelajar sekolah menengah, bukan sekolah rendah. Si abang memandang ke bawah melihat adiknya sehinggalah bas berlalu pergi. mungkinkah mereka saling melambai tangan? itu aq tidak tahu..

Tidak lama selepas itu, bas melewati kawasan sekolah di Mutiara Gombak. si abang pon berdiri di pintu belakang bas sebelum turun. Ketika itu mataku tertancap pada kasut sekolah si abang. MasyaAllah, Subhannallah.. kasut sekolahnya berlubang! berlubang besar! dan nmpak seperti sudah bertahun-tahun tidak berganti. hatiku tersentap. ya, hatiku tersentap! sebak rasa di dalam hati mengenangkan keadaan itu.

Masih ada lagi pelajar sekolah yang terpaksa hidup sebegitu.
tidak ada kah bantuan pakaian, kasut & beg sekolah dari pihak sekolah untuk mereka?
tidak mungkin tiada bantuan.
tidak mungkin tiada guru yang melihat keadaan murid itu.
tidak mungkin mereka hanya memandang tanpa ada yang mahu membantu!

sepasang kasut sekolah buat pemangkin semangat dan keyakinan pelajar itu untuk ke sekolah yang hanya berharga kurang dari RM50, tiada seorang pun yang sudi memberi?
 atau mungkin kah kehidupannya sangat susah hinggakan duit bantuan yang diberikan kepada setiap murid terpaksa digunakan untuk hal-hal yang lebih penting?

sungguh, sungguh itu bukan kasut sekolah layaknya!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

3

It is almost 3.00 a.m. 


i'm still doing my CONVEST work,

 again for this week

*_*

wish me luck & may Allah make my way easier.. amin

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

T_T

...I'm Tired...
-__-

...not feel good...
*__*

..how can I satisfied everyone, man..
=(

...But I belief that this learning process will never be easy, isn't..?

 Gambatteee, fizah..
InsyaAllah will benefit you later ^__^

~ Tired of being tired, BUT currently i'm tired. tq. ~

Monday, September 17, 2012

It has been a year

Looking back at those days (to be exact one year)...

I cried,
Not only me but the rest of the family did,
I cried & I reflect, I cried & I reflect,

I must let it be the way Allah has arranged it,
Let her go in peace...

That morning i had the call, i cried & deep in my heart "the day has come",
i cried definitely!

But i must be strong,
as i could not went back to my hometown i must be strong & attend all the classes that day,

That evening, no one could bear it any more..
i cried so much,
till felt like i don't want to go to the meeting...

........................................................

yesterday, suddenly her picture pop up at my desktop..
a face of the most sincere smile i ever seen,
she was smiled but i were cried...

i miss her,
i adore her so much,
i love her,
i wanna meet her again 'there'! definitely!

so, i must work harder!

..................................................

it has been a year since that day...
today she still in my mind & heart...
insyaAllah she will be there forever...

Ya Allah,
 forgive all her wrongness, grant her the 'best place', keep us strong, keep us 'help' her, keep her in our prayers forever..and please gather us in Jannah, insyaAllah...
amin..

selamat berehat dengan tenang tok.
Al-fatihah to allahyarhamah Fatimah binti Latipah...

Sunday, September 16, 2012

4

Assalamualaikum ^_^

A short notes written here for the 'future Hafizah' , insyaAllah. =)
  • Gladly to be in my fourth level of studying accounting. Too many things happen, if you look back to your old days. Alhamdulillah.
  • Why am I choose to be an accounting student? - till now i got no valid & solid reason for that, Allah know Best.
  • Joined a leadership camp sponsored by MICPA conducted by NOVAC (UUM's accounting council). very memorable & fun. i enjoyed the camp except one thing that contrast my values. the rest was awesome!
  • currently busy with CONVEST'12 as i'm one of the subcommittee for this event under Youth Conference. i'm resposible as a booth manager with Zarul.
  • insyaAllah, i will lead a program namely as Deloitte Accounting Challenge. My first experience as a program manager. seriously, nervous!
  • another first experience for me was played SQUASH. Tq Farah for that wonderful evening. we even did twin sit up ! yeah! we lying on the court...hehhehe
  • alhamdulillah able to get my uni language courses which seriously hard to get one, LE 4000.
  • today Hafizah is having a dream to further study in ACCA! and one more thing! one more thing! she has a dream to have it oversea! insyaAllah..grant me for that Allah, amin.. ^-^
  • what u wanna be? in 5 to 10 years time? i need to discover & ponder about that soon..
then, till we meet here again soon...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

rahsia untuk dikongsi!

Hassan Basri ditanya:
Apa rahsia zuhudmu di dunia ini?

Beliau menjawab, 
" Aku tahu rezekiku tidak akan di ambil orang lain, kerana itu hatiku tenang. Aku tahu amalku tidak akan dikerjakan orang lain, kerana itulah aku sibuk beramal salih. Aku tahu Allah SWT selalu memerhatiku, kerana itulah aku malu jika Allah melihatku sedang dalam maksiat. Aku tahu kematian itu sudah menungguku, kerana itulah aku selalu menambah bekal untuk hari pertemuanku."

east his way out

Dear my man after Allah & Rasul,

i was speechless
wanted to cry
but
i hold it back

why?
because i simply do not want to burden you more than what you have now.
because definitely you can notice it without words saying it.
because i'm your first & eldest.

stress??

what was that?
could you please be out of our way,
could you please step aside & make our journey clear,
could you...could you...could you...

dear my man after Allah & Rasul,

i know you hurt so much!
i know you know the pain more than i ever know!
i know you thought more than i ever thought!
i know you tried so much not to loss your self confidence coz you are our leader!
i know...i know....i know....
surely i know you do love me more than i love you even though i tried my best to love you more!

Oh Allah, make my abah patient,strong, redha, work harder to overcome all the tests you bring to us, make his way easier, do grant him the best place at Jannah..amin

 


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

R for everything

Alhamdulillah...Subhanallah...masyaAllah...

 R1
susah-payah, jerih-perih, penat-lelah, jatuh-bangun, senyum-tawa, resah-gelisah, banjir-leleh & etc. telah mengiringi ayunan langkah kaki ini sebagai seorang pelajar tahun tiga. Segalanya terkandung hikmah yang tak mampu diduga oleh akal manusia, semuanya rahsia Allah. Alhamdulillah.

kesabaranku yang nipis-senipisnya telah beberapa kali koyak sepanjang perjalanan lalu. semuanya tidak sia-sia, insyaAllah. terpandang notis yang terletak di 'board' sering kali mengingatkan 'zaman kejatuhan' itu. pahit dikenang tetapi sebaik-baik sempadan & pengajaran, insyaAllah.

Alhamdulillah,
berupaya & diberi peluang oleh Allah untuk meluangkan masa atau cuti yang terhad bersama anugerah Allah yang terindah iaitu famili. seribu-satu perkara yang berlaku & tidak berkesempatan berlaku semuanya aturan Allah.

R2
" terima kasih kak long tolong mak "
suatu baris ayat yang tak pernah diduga & tak terlintas sekilas pon di fikiran terungkap dari seorang insan yang telah banyak sangat mencurah segalanya untuk kami, menelan segala pahit yang mendatang dalam membesarkan kami, setia mendengar keluh-kesah kami walaupon sebaliknya keluh-kesahnya tidak didengari oleh kami..
suatu baris ayat yang membuatkan aku terpaku. terpana. berat kaki nak melangkah. kerana aku tahu dia sangat-sangat memerlukan aku ketika itu. kesibukan yang memuncak. gelodak hati & perasaan yang tak mampu aku selami sekalipon aku mencuba kerana tak mungkin aku faham kerna aku tidak ditempatnya. Ya Allah, kuatkan semangatnya, permudahkanlah urusannya, ampunilah dosanya, kasihanilah dia & kurniakanlah dia sebaik-baik tempat rehat di 'sana' nanti bersama abah. amin.
kak long sayang mak & abah kerana Allah (satu ungkapan yang belum terucap di bibirku & belum didengari oleh telinga mak & abah)

R3
keputusan peperiksaan yang buat pertama kalinya membantu menaikkan CGPA, alhamdulillah.
terima kasih kepada semua yang Allah kirimkan untuk berada di sisiku, alhamdulillah.
semoga kita dapat bersama-sama memakmurkan bumi Allah, menegakkan syiar Islam, & mengukuhkan ummah dengan segala yang ada pada kita, insyaAllah.
amin.

R4
semester pendek bermula dengan langkah selaku pelajar tahun empat. alhamdulillah.
permudahkanlah Ya Allah.

R5
Women Conference: Being Me
alhamdulillah atas segalanya.
kesempatan yang diberikan sekalipon di saat-saat akhir.
kemudahan yang Allah kirimkan kepada kami bertiga.
jazakAllahu khairan kathira Sis Nadiah & Sis Emily.
pertemuan & ukhwah yang terjalin.
'speakers' yang sangat bagus, penyampaian yang bagus, pengisian yang terbaik, alhamdulillah.

R6
Alhamdulillah, diberi kesempatan mengamalkan sunnah Rasulullah yang selama ini bermain-main di fikiran. Alhamdulillah dengan izin Allah dapatlah kami berbisnes.
teringat hadis yang menyatakan lebih kurang begini maksudnya; "apabila dua orang menjalankan perniagaaan, selama mana kedua-duanya jujur & menghidarkan diri dan perniagaan dari unsur-unsur yang tidak baik, Allah yang ketiga di antara keduanya."
MasyaAllah..
semoga diredhai oleh Allah & dipermudahkan oleh Allah hendaknya, amin.

R7
pertama kali menyertai program mentoring bersama anak-anak orang asli di sekolah. satu pengalaman baru bagi aku. insyaAllah akan menyertainya buat kali kedua pada hujung minggu ini.


^_________^'

R for randoms...tq




Tuesday, May 15, 2012

_ _ _ *_*_ _ _

 berlinangan air mata mengenangkan hal dunia yg x mampu nk tanggung...dlm solat pon nangis sbb dunia...Allah hina nya aq...astaghfirullah...
geram yg x terungkap, air mata yg x tertahan lgi dh...klas x sempat nk p lg dah...emel xboleh hntar lg...internet laju tp x boleh hntar...dh bnyk kali try....
ya Allah...hina nya aq x mampu nk tanggung bnda yg kecik mcm ni...dlm hati & kepala tgh serabut pk mcm mna nk maafkan org tu...ikot hati yg dicucuk2 setan ni, aq x akan hntar dh esaimen tu!!!
aarrggghhhh.....
ya Allah, lemahnya iman aq...perasaan pnting kan diri masih meguasai, astaghfirullah
sebak mngenangkan klas yg x bersalah tu tp dh x sempat nk g....klau pergi skrg mmpu ke nk fokus???
 emel.....tolong lah...
ya Allah permudahkanlah ya Allah


a.s.a.p

If you really mean your 'sayang' words, please do it A.S.A.P...!

tak dapat tulis kat mesej, tulis kat sini pon boleh la...grrr...
bukan geram & marah lagi dah tapi dah mula menyampah...tawar hati dah rasa...
tapi kali ni dah tak ikot kehendak amarah sangat dah macam dulu-dulu...kalau tak dah lama meletup..

sorry to say, but this is the truth...truth, in certain situation, somehow not convenient isn't it?

p/s: this is the most team that going to remain in my head, i guess...

tomorrow will come

coretan pendek sebagai kenangan peribadi di masa hadapan..

-oh yeah!! esok secara rasminya kelas untuk semester ni berakhir..^_^
-DMC class je ada esok petang...tapi assignment BE baru nak submit esok, insyaAllah..
-alhamdulillah, manage to continue till the end
-berat saya bawah 60kg dh, yea kipidap kipidap..
-terlalu banyak perkara yang berlaku sepanjang semester ni..insyaAllah semuanya itu sebagai persediaan untuk menjadi lebih baik esok
-banyak jugak belajar perkara-perkara baru...almaklumlah setiap cabaran & dugaan itu mematangkan kita...
-tidak dinafikan banyak kali melatah, hampir mengalah, 'geramji'...tapi saya percaya semua ini reflect diri kita suatu ketika dahulu, astaghfirullah..mungkin suatu ketika dahulu tanpa sedar kita melakukan perkara yang sama terhadap orang lain & kali ini takdir kita untuk merasai betapa hebatnya penangan apabila diperlakukan sebegitu
-air mata tidak dapat tidak sentiasa menemani perjalanan ini
-perjalanan untuk menjadi lebih baik tidak mudah, terlalu banyak halangannya, tapi yakinlah kemanisannya pasti ada! walaupon susah nak terima pada mulanya, berdoalah agar hati kita redha dgn semua ini..
-jazakallahu khairan kathira bt teman-teman rapat di sekeliling saya...terima kasih atas segalanya & i'm sorry for anything i'm done wrong and hurt you guys...sayang korang kerana Allah
-saya nak rajin ulang-kaji tapi masih belum berjaya..haiissshhh!
-perkara-perkara baru :
 =) dh menjejakkan kaki ke kampung orang asli...best!
 =)trip to Melaka (1st time nih..)
 =) seoul garden
 =)1st time ada planner...weee (x percaya?? percayalah)
 =)1st time makan dekat MFM guna duit sendiri
 =) 3 kali ke KLIBF
 =) menyaksikan BERSIH 3.0 + jumpa dua orang YB
 =) having a chance to shake hand with IIUM Rector


Monday, May 7, 2012

internal conflict 1

apabila...
  • reports & presentation yet to be finish off & there are another assignments wait for me..
  • assignment that been rejected & have to re-do all the things
  • individual presentation tomorrow insyaAllah
  • last quiz this week
-Allah izinkan kifarah pd hari ini...sakit, tp alhamdulillah sbb dpt penghapusan dosa2 kecik dr Allah, insyaAllah..
-bnyk yg perlu diperbetulkan dlm diri sendiri sebelum datangnya final exam 2 minggu lg..
-ilmu itu hak milik mutlak Allah, kita yang diberi peluang belajar haruslah sentiasa memohon agar Allah redha dgn ilmu2-Nya yang kita tuntut selama ini...
-usaha dari kita & penentunya adalah Allah..Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yg terbaik utk kita...

..wahai minda,hati, anggota fizikal ku...ayuh bangkit bergerak & bersedia beretempur dgn smua cabaran ini...

...first step is important, if not u will never start anything...

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Don't Judge a Person by His Physical Appearance Only!


Bila jumpa pelacur tepi jalan, orang akan kata “Eee perempuan kotor ni” Padahal ...kita tak tahu dia telah dijual oleh bapanya ketika umur 10 tahun.

Bila jumpa bekas banduan, orang akan kata “ish penjahat ni. jangan dekat dengan dia” Padahal kita tak tahu dia telah difitnah mengambil rasuah oleh sahabat karibnya sendiri.

Bila jumpa pesakit mental, orang akan kata “orang gila ! jangan kacau aku” Padahal kita tak tahu dia telah didera oleh mak tirinya hingga mengalami trauma berpanjangan.

Bila jumpa lelaki muka hodoh, orang akan kata “euww hodohnya. siapalah nak kahwin dengan kau tu” Padahal kita tak tahu lelaki tu kehilangan ketampanannya akibat melecur dalam usaha menyelamatkan ibunya dalam kebakaran.

sources: facebook...


how i wish i can be all the time 'husnu zhan' with people...somehow i'm yet to be..but i wanna be! i wanna be optimist and help people whose in need with my optimistic values..insyaAllah i'll keep on trying my best..
 lets be a better Muslim than yesterday!

Monday, April 23, 2012

i'm officially lost juz now...
right in the morning, the beginning of the day...

yes, i'm lost...
yup, i was lost..
i lost, i lost myself...
i lost myself because of me, myself...not other people...

what would the feel of lost? was it fun?

definitely, definitely not..

it was totally shameful, regretful, and the real lost..!

i lost today,
i lost because i cannot control myself,
myself cannot control my anger,
my anger was full with 'bisikan syaitan'...
....astaghfirullah...

that's why i'm lost...

BUT

though i lost and i admit it, tomorrow insyaAllah i will try my best not to allow any 'lost' ever to happen again, insyaAllah..

Oh Allah, do forgive all my sins..easier my way to control my anger..easier my way to become a better person, a better muslimah, a better mukminah, insyaAllah...
amin ya rabbal a'lamin..

GUYS, I'M SO SORRY, BUT PLEASE DO NOT PROVOKE ME AGAIN..

p/s: after the lost, it is hard to even say sorry...not because cannot accept the facts but because of the foolishness of myself...

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Interest Vs. Hibah

Prof. Kameel," Muslim is at war with Allah because of Riba' actually"

Hal ini kerana, berdasarkan surah al-Baqarah ayat 278 & 279, Allah telah berfirman sekian lama yang bermaksud;

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bertakwalah kepada Allah dan tinggalkanlah riba' (yang belum dipungut) jika kamu orang beriman. (278). Jika kamu tidak melaksanakannya, maka umumkanlah perang dari Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Tetapi jika kamu bertaubat, maka kamu berhak atas pokok hartamu. Kamu tidak berbuat zalim (merugikan) dan tidak dizalimi (dirugikan) 279."

Ulasan Prof. Kameel;
-> whatever happen to Muslim nowaday is because we are involve in interest eventhough we are forced to. Based on my research, 100years sebelum kejatuhan khalifah Islam, they were involved in this what we called as interest. I can tell you everything happened to us is because of ourselves.

->That is why we have to struggle enough to correct it back, you have to learn & work hard to understand the conventional practice to counter them back in order to make our Islamic practice being acceptable by those regulators.

-> our paper money (fiat money) was backed by gold up to 1971 only. For the past 30 years, chaos is there around us.

-> Targeting Benchmark (Ex-post) Vs. Demanding Benchmark (Ex-ante). Targeting benchmark (trying very best to achieve benchmark, if not achieve its ok you can work out again) is ok but people nowadays would likely go for demanding benchmark (at the early stage already fixed/guaranteed benchmark) which is not allowed.

-> his suggestion reference book for us to read is " The Problem With Interest" by Tariq Al-Diwani (i do not know how the correct this author name but it's sound like that..^_^)

Ulasan Dr. Azman;
-> aqad terbahagi kepada dua iaitu aqad tabaru'at & aqad muawadah. Aqad tabaru'at dimaafkan gharar padanya tetapi aqad muawadah tidak boleh dimaafkan gharar padanya. (sori dh tak ingat plak contoh Dr.Azman mlm td)

-> Hibah itu sangat indah, yang bermaksud hadiah atau sedekah. Sebagai contohnya, A pinjam duit daripada B RM1000. B tidak menyatakan yang A kena bayar lebih daripada RM1000 kepadanya. tetapi A itu sendiri yang bayar balik lebih dari RM1000 & ini dianggap hibah. Tidak dinyatakan tetapi atas budi bicara pihak yang meminjam.

-> Jika orang yang lebih kaya memberi sesuatu kepada orang yang kurang kaya daripadanya, itu dipanggil sedekah.Sebaliknya, jika orang yang setaraf atau orang yang kurang kaya memberi sesuatu kepada orang yang lebih kaya, ianya dipanggil hadiah. bukan sedekah.

-> currently, Bank Negara mengarahkan semua bank termasuk Bank Islam supaya Mudharabah kena ada Capital Guaranteed which is cannot be make into practice under shariah.

-> Confirm amount of Hibah tak boleh tapi inilah yang dipraktis sekarang. Hibah itu boleh tapi tak boleh disyaratkan (certain) pada awal perjanjian.

-> Ibra' iaitu dua harga dalam 1 kontark tak boleh. Contohnya, kalau bayar balik pinjaman dalam masa 4tahun bayar RM1000 tapi kalau bayar balik dalam 5 tahun bayar RM1400. Ini tak boleh! kena pilih satu saja & dinyatakan dalam kontrak firmly at the beginning of agreement.

-> Tabung Haji tak tertakluk kepada Bank Negara tetapi Bank Islam kena ikot arahan Bank Negara. Bank Negara dh toleransi bnyk dh dgn Bank Islam, tapi kita still perlukan bnyk lg toleransi.

-> Bank Islam masih lg mencuba yang terbaik utk 'islamize' kan sistem kita utk capai sepenuhnya perbankkan Islam.

Overall talk mlm tadi sangat bagus! bnyk manfaat & ilmu yang boleh dijadikan panduan, insyaAllah..^_^

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Mari Merungut 1:

Stress jadi ketua kumpulan...adoi...assignment nak kena hantar minggu depan dok ada 1. Minggu lagi satu ada dua assignment nak kena hantar & aq ada dua exam. Kata nak jadi 'ethical leader' kan, jadinya aq pon mengambil langkah bertanya-tanya (update) la diorg punya kerja. Bila kita tanya , gaya cakap macam dah start buat la kan...dalam hati,"bagus-bagus...best jugak jadi ethical learder nih sebabnya tak perlu nak arah-arah orang & pikir apa orang tu kata kat kita kan".

hari ni bila ckp nk jmpa nk siapkan assignment (compile), jadi sebagai seorang 'ethical leader' haruslah toleransi dalam nk menentukan masa & tarikh. bincang punya bincang punya bincang, hujung minggu ni tak boleh...ari isnin mlm nnt baru boleh jumpa.. ok lah kan.. ari khamis hntar assignment, jadi aq pon ckplah kt diorg supaya make sure 100% siap & nnt jmpa compile dan terus proceed dgn lagi 2 assignment 2 yg belum start buat pape report lg.

AKAN TETAPI,BARU HARI CAKAP YANG TAK FAHAM ARAHAN LECTURER LAH,
TAK TAU APA NAK TULIS,
TAK TAU NAK CARI MAKLUMAT TU KAT MANA LAH,
TAK TAU NAK BUAT MACAM MANA LAH....

HARI NI OK..!!!
dush(100x)...

penat aq trained bt muka plastik (supaya tak tunjuk kt org apa yg kita rasa). boleh agak la mcm mna muka aq td kan...suara pon dh naik satu ank tangga dh...
HAIISSHHH..! SIAP MINTA AQ PUNYA PART THEN ONLY BARU NAK BUAT...
dgn geramnya aq pon berkata."kalau ni individual assignment, agak2 korang boleh pkir x nk buat mcm mna sendiri??"

seriusly, mari merungut...!!!

Mari Merungut 2:

jadual final exam saya...!
27/5 - Decision Making & Control
28/5 - Investment Analysis
29/5 - Company Law
30/5 - Advance Group Accounting
...
...
8/6 - Corporate Finance + Business Ethics

some of you might say, "ok la tu bknnya 1 hari 2 paper pon!"
tapi...tapi...i have to ensure that i'm ok through out the 4 consecutive days. if i'm down for 1 subject, the rest definitely will be affected. oh no...moreover, the first subject is the subject that for sure u wouldn't even have a dream to get A-....sighh...*_*

But still, Alhamdulillah a'la kul lill hal....Allah know the Best!
semoga dipermudahkan,insyaAllah..amin

Mari Merungut 3:

"klmrin kmi bwak footballer dr chelsea, liverpool dgn MU."
"bwa maher zain jgk kli ni. dgn bni dia p london. kn dia ada show d london la ni."

okay, saya sangat jeles dengan kamu....! especially maher zain pnya trip...*_*

p/s: please forgive my bad side...hmmm..emotionally not good..

Saturday, April 14, 2012

How to say this in proper words? hmmm..

I had an outing yesterday with my friends. On the way to go to the bus stand outside the mall, we saw lots of youngsters like us were having 'demo'. People were shocked, especially us, because we didn't know what's going on.

One chinese aunt was asking me, "what is that? memang selalu macam tu ka?".
I just smile and said, "i have no idea too."

********
There were Malay students, chinese students & Indian students with all those banners. Then only we figured out, it was PTPTN demonctracy! No wonder there were lots of students. Looking at the public reactions, they were not happy with that demo. You can said that they were not happy because they were not in the same shoes like us. But, my dear brothers and sisters, that is not the issue.

You and us are going to be the future leaders of this country, what would you think? Is that the right ways dear? Is that really potray your current status? do you know at which level our country is currently at? do you have full thought before you did that? have you analyze the good and bad for what you requested for? (i'm really sorry if this might hurt you, i'm still ponder how to say this in proper words..sorry again)

I'm sad.
I'm not happy.
I'm not agree with you guys.
sorry again...

*********

bus driver," apa pasal tu?"
we said," ntah la pak cik..."
bus driver," cari duit pon tak pandai lagi dah sibuk nak demo sana-sini!"

we did not say anything and get our seats.

*********
At the Sumayyah Week Stall...having access to facebook...

Miss S said," kenapalah kurang bijak sangat mahasiswa-mahasiswa sekalian. korang tak belajar ekonomi ke? korang sedar tak keadaan sekarang ni..defisit kerajaan Malaysia dah banyak mana?"

She continued, " i'm also a PTPTN holder. Kalau nak mansuhkan caj-caj sampingan PTPTN takpe lah jugak. Ini nak minta belajar secara percuma. Ingat ribu-ribu je ke pelajar universiti kat Malaysia ni. Ramai lah!"

*********

In fact, every IPTA's student are being subsidized by Malaysian government more than 85% out of total education fees. We cannot asked the government to make the tertiary education free for everyone like what government did in the past.

This is my opinion and i'm not saying you have to agree with me. No, you can have your own opinion which may be more reasonable than me. I do not want to hurt anyone. So, that is why i'm still wondering till now, how to deliver my opinion in proper words.

I'm sorry if it hurt you.
Sorry, sorry again.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

mission accomplished!

assalamualaikum...=)

alhamdulillah (2x)...
semalam merupakan pengalaman kedua berprogram di kampung orang asli; Kg. Ulu Tamu, Batang Kali. one word I can said, "awesome!!" Nice view, nice village, nice kids overall, nice team, nice pranked, & everything nice!

Got to known some of them like Misha,Aishah,Zahra,Mazlin, Kamarul, Daniel, Raziq, Zamani, Izwan, Shahrul & many more...One thing I realized, when we approached them & they felt comfortable, they will share with us everything they wanted to tell. For example, their school life, their daily activities, their friends, their story books, & etc. I was having nice chat with them. love to hear the misha, aishah, shahrul, kamarul, raziq & daniel's story. hehhehe....

deep in my heart, i wish and hope they can excell in their study & life. This is because I'm able and belief that those kids have the potential to be successful. they are different! that's all I can say.

Overall, i was enjoyed with the team and the program. Totally, AWESOME!

---> one of my wishlists of studying in UIAM (went to kg. org. asli) is done! ^_^

Friday, April 6, 2012

H to E to A to R to T

17:48
5-april-2012

This precious gift i'm having right now does not belong wholly to me right now. I do not have any idea where it goes. But I do hope and wish that it belongs to something good, something that allow it to get the pleasure from Allah.

Oh Allah, the Owner of my heart and soul, keep my heart and soul at the best place and help me to protect and preserve it till the end.

Oh Allah, do strengthen my heart and never allows it to loose faith on You till ever and ever.

Oh Allah, do make my heart a best one and allow me to potray it in my daily life so that I can benefit other fellow humans and Your creatures.
amin..


studying DMC somehow i'm not on it..
end up with those reflection..

Monday, March 26, 2012

28 march 2012 will it be the date??

Assalamualaikum....
I wanna share something here with anybody who read my writings....
Just a short remarks....

currently it's 11.56 a.m. :
  • he is going to fetch up his lawyer at the Langkawi International Airport.
  • in the middle of having face-to-face conversation the the person who gonna represent him tomorrow insyaAllah...
tomorrow at 9.00 a.m. :
tomorrow will be the day...will be the time for "case hearing"..hopefully it will run smoothly and hope for the best outcome, insyaAllah... Allah knows best! amin...

Allahumma Yasir Wala Tu'asir,insyaAllah, amin...

ps: i'm home...hehhe...yet to cook,yet to take my sister and brothers from their school (anyway not the time yet ^_^)....what's the point i poiting this out?? nothing...ngeeee *_^

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

EFFECTIVE VS. ETHICAL

(SR 4.2 KENMS, IIUM, 10.00am, 6th March 2012)

D: pernah kerja bawah A tak?
F: tak..kenapa?
D: isshh dia tu...susah lah..
F: apa yang susahnya? dia jenis yang suka 'force' eh?
D: mana tahu? a'ah...semua orang kena ikut cakap dia ja, pandangan orang bukan nak dengar pun..geram betul!

F: bak sini tengok proposal jap..eh? lagi dua bulan ni, awalnya buat proposal...bagus2
D: dia punya pasal la ni...nak hantar hari ni juga...orang banyak kerja ke tak ke bukannya dia peduli. N sampai demam2 sebab nk siapkan proposal lah, homework lah, assignment lah. walhal proposal tu boleh je lambat sikit.
F: oh dia ni effective leader bukan ethical leader. effective leader oriented on get the job done no matter what. they are not a leader actually but a manager. without authority, they are nobody.
D: a'ah

F: hmm...i used to be like that before, i guess. but when i hate working under that kind of person, i try to change my style, be a better person. jangan buat benda yang kita tak suka orang lain buat pada kita. maybe dia tengah belajar untuk jadi lebih baik. tegur2 lah dia.
D: hmm...mungkin lah. nanti nak cakap masa meeting..

...the end...

bye2 effective leader....i want to be an ethical leader! insyaAllah...may Allah guide you and me to be an ethical leader but still productive,insyaAllah amin...

my teammates, bear with me and do correct me! may Allah bless us..^_^

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

oopppsss...!

=) alhamdulillah, semester 5 dh memulakan pelayaran pada 4 minggu lepas. (lama dh huh?..i know!)
=) this is the last semester (insyaAllah) where i had the opportunity to get involved in the University Sport Carnival a.k.a. USC. so lets have a short-story about it..^_^..(moment to be remembered)
  • i was participate in 2 games actually but technical error made me just participate in 1 game which is Chess. my first trial nih..! hehhee
  • i used to be in the table tennis training and i was there during the game. as usual, the winner went to the MASUM players. MASUM? whats that? MASUM is the inter-uni tournament. so MASUM players = IIUM players la kan...no wonder la kalah kan..but still it was the issued for the past2 years..
  • surprisingly, in chess tournament there were big surprised for me. not a MASUM player anymore, BUT MALAYSIA'S PLAYER WAS THERE! haaa..amik ko...tp x berpeluang lawan ngan dia pon...huhuhu...gerun tgk dia main!
  • we were the fourth out of ten...so yeeepppyyyy! hehehhee
  • ok..done!
=)this week, the assignments & presentations are going to full my schedules..oh before that, last week, i already had my AGA group exercise and we manage to get 3/4 marks..alhamdulillah...pray for the better,insyaAllah..! chayokkk!

p/s: ye, saya x aktif lagi dah...
eh pernah ke aktif sangat2?? x..
so buat pe nk touching2?..entahlah..

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

woman i really love after my mom!

Dear Hafishah,

I know u really missed me today,
i know u cried,
i know u loved me,
thanks for the 'help',

but...dear,
please be strong,
please be good khalifatullah,
please listen to your mom, take a good care of her, hug her for me..

i will 'rest here' & wait for you & others...
please do continuously 'help' me....


p/s: al-fatihah to Fatimah binti Latipah...love her till ever&ever...